viernes, 26 de agosto de 2011

Away...

Hey, guys! I'm going to San Francisco! I wont be writing in a while...I think...or maybe I will... I'll see if I have time. I do hope so. 

All my love.
Ciao,
Anniselle

lunes, 22 de agosto de 2011

Emie

I met Emie when I was about to turn twelve. We were on a skying trip with school, the teachers told us "Please form two lines and we'll do the groups". I told Alenna to stand behind me, then maybe we'd be together. I ended up in group two and she went with group 3. There were several girls in my group, I think they were Ryelle, Eryn, Sonja, Emie and me. There were also five boys with us, but I only remember Raoul and Adam. I quickly paired up with Emie, because that was the best option there was.
After two hours of skying we had a small break to eat a sandwich, so we went to the entrance and sat on the snow. I wanted to go inside a hut there was, but I was afraid I wouldn't hear the instructor calling  us. I sat next to Emie and started looking for the food in my backpack (Obviously, where else would it be?). Then, Emie asked me if I could give her some of my water because her's was warm, and immediately afterwards she covered her bottle with snow so it would get colder. I lent her mine and she said << Wow! We have the same bottle! But yours is yellow and mine is blue>>. I thought it was too much of a coincidence because I had almost chosen the blue bottle, and we had the exact same coat. So we talked. We hung out together. I stopped paying as much attention to Alenna as used to, and I now feel bad for that, although we're fine.
We became good friends. We joked, we laughed, we talked, we were stupid, we were crazy, we dressed up, listened to music, went out, we cried, we cheered up each other, we did all this together and more. We even signed up for rhythmic gymnastics together. We became like sisters. We trusted each other, we told each other everything. I loved her. As my older sister, I mean. She took care of me at first. She was all I'd ever wanted, someone close to my age that'd be friends with me and that'd take care of me. I wanted to be like her, cool, stylish, I wanted to be able to talk to people,be successful in sports and win trophies.
Everything started going downhill after some time. I don't know if it was two or three years or more or less, I just can't remember, everything seems so far away... Well, she started criticizing my clothes, my taste in boys and many other things, they way I acted, the things I said. I didn't pay much attention at first, I thought <<Well, that's brave, telling the truth no matter how bad it was>>. But then she'd start scolding me and saying things that, well, they weren't really all that bad, but they were hurtful.
 The dream was shattered. By the end of last year she became distant. I really don't know why. Then, at the beginning of this year, I met Pablo. When we started dating she was jealous, that was perfectly clear. She grew even more distant. After the break-up she hardly talked to me. It was as if she was mad at me already. Then the fights started, she was in the middle of something that didn't concern her. She should have backed off, but she didn't and that is how she got involved in all this. If she had stopped getting in the way, we'd be all happy now and we'd hear no more about Pablo. But she really wanted to get in the middle of everything. Was she seeking attention? Was she jealous enough to want to really fuck me hard (not literally)? I don't know.
Well, she continued doing and saying things she shouldn't have. She said she wasn't doing anything and tried to look good. You know the rest. She refused to see me, even though I had agreed to do it (although I wasn't very comfortable with it). And that's the story. If you want to know anything else just post a comment with your questions.
Thank you for reading.
Most sincerely,
Anniselle. 

domingo, 21 de agosto de 2011

Sunday

Okay, today I stayed home alone because my parents went to the beach. So I didn't get up very late, they woke me up to tell me they were leaving me here and that they'd call from time to time. I had breakfast and started talking to Alenna. See, yesterday I got three phone calls between midnight and 12:30, but I didn't answer because at that time I was watching HIMYM with my Mom and my sister Hettie. Y sent a text to that phone number and the owner of the phone said that my ex boyfriend had grabbed it and called me. It seems the owner and Pablo know each other. So, as I said, Alenna and I were talking, so I asked her if she knew the phone, or if it was Emie's. Both answers were "no". Same with Alice (who's now officially Alice Bianca on my blog, her blogger profile is by the name of Bianca), she had no clue who that phone number belonged to. So I ignored the fact that my ex boyfriend, who hates me and is dating my ex best friend, called me three times in the middle of the night.
Well, I was fine, I talked to Shadow, I discussed some confusing yet exciting feelings with Alice and kept talking with Alenna, we went on and on about piercings and the exchange program were in. I made lunch, watched The Simpsons, survived the heat, made a list of things to take on the exchange program with Mill Valley (I'm leaving next week!) and listened to music, especially to a song absolutely love, Behind these hazel eyes, by Kelly Clarkson. My Mother called a couple of times too. Suddenly the phone rang, and I thought <<Oh, it must be Mom again, or maybe one of my sisters friends>>. So I picked up the phone and saw it wasn't a mobile calling, so I answered and they hung up. I then supposed they might have gotten the wrong number, but I went to check who called anyway. And then's when everything became, like, totally weird. It was Emie's home phone number. I didn't call back, I wasn't talking to her. I'm still not. So then I talked that over with Alenna and Shadow. They took long to answer, I guess they were doing other things, so I opened Facebook and I was going to play Pet Society and read some of Barney Stinson's Quotes when I got a message from Emie's mother's Facebook, but it was actually Emie. Then she signed into her own account and started sending me messages: <<What's your problem?>> <<Why are you still acting like that?>> <<What's wrong with you?>>; although I'd only said that I didn't want to go to dinner with her and the other girls from the exchange program. So this time I got really mad. I'd told her not to talk to me. And she had been trying to steal my friends, but I'll talk about that in her own post. And she's the one who screwed this more than it was already, because I had done some too, but she started AND finished the job, I only got angry when they tried to ruin my life. And she thought I had a problem. So I called her really nasty things. But all true. I'm not going to write them because that's a private message and because I don't want to have really bad things written here. So anyway, that's done. Not only we're not going to be friends ever again, but I'll never trust her or even forgive her.  Alice, and maybe other girls from the so-called group who may read this (Alenna, Chloe, even the one's on the other side) I'm sorry because this is going to be hard on you, and if the group ever gets back together (which I doubt) I'll never be the same.
I'll write soon, I'll try to write everything that happens, I mean the relevant things, and I'll write a post about Emie and Irina.
Hope I didn't bore you to death.
Lots of love, especially to Alice, Alenna, Chloe and Shadow,
Anniselle

viernes, 19 de agosto de 2011

Changes : Part Three

Okay, now the title IS really lame. Well, anyway, this post is not about the title, so let's go straight to the point.
I had just finished writing about the party. Well, that was my last day of school. Didn't seem like it. Usually last day of school is nice... I thought I'd never see 6 again, but I was wrong. I saw him once more, he didn't see me.
Well, I don't remember exactly what happened next. I know I was mad at the world. I had nightmares almost every night and cried myself to sleep. During the day it wasn't so bad. I went out with the girls: for a walk, to a movie, to dinner, to the pool....
I stopped talking to Emie, and Irina and I got mad at each other, but I'll give the details in her post. Emie started dating Pablo. And it's not over. We still have to survive another whole school year together. If they even want to see me, but I'll write about  that in the next post.

I know it was short, but there are a lot of things that have little to do with my ex boyfriend and his manipulating skills, and that I'm going to write in other posts. Maybe I'll write a whole one about Emie. I'm angry at her, really angry, and I don't think I can ever forgive her for all the things she's done, but maybe I should write a post of the good things for the friendship we once shared when we were younger, and about the bad things and how that ruined what was left of our friendship...

This is all I have to say here.
All my love,
Anniselle

martes, 16 de agosto de 2011

Más frases al azar



κατα τον δαιμονα εαυτου (kata ton daimona eaytoy) Griego moderno = Al espíritu divino dentro de él.
                                                                                 Griego antiguo = Contra el mismo diablo/Creó  sus                                                                                                             propios demonios.

No encuentro un significado, la vida es un caparazón vacío. Insomne cruzo los límites mientras sigo buscando el final del día.

The sound of an old song lights in the dark a flame. Alone, tonight, I'm lost. Why is it cold in hell?

El tiempo es una ilusion creada por los hombres que temen a la muerte; los relojes, objetos de adoracion para quienes se niegan a aceptar lo inevitable. 

When we two parted 
in silence and tears,
half broken-hearted 
to sever for years,
pale grew thy cheek
and cold, colder thy kiss;
truly that hour foretold
sorrow to this.

To love is to destroy, to be loved is to be the one destroyed.

There's no pretending...I love you, and I will love you until I die , and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then.

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet...

No se me ocurre nada mas, pero admito sugerencias.
Besos,
Anniselle

Hillo! XD

The title is pronounced "Hilow", it's from The Big Bang Theory.
Well, anyway, here I am again. I really have to take a break, so I'll continue the story soon enough, when it's time, but for now, let's move on to something else.
I want to talk about four people: Alice, Chloe, Alenna, and last, but not least, Shadow. These are my friends, the real ones, the one's who have stayed by my side when I most needed it, those who have helped me, defended me, those who have loved me (I sincerely hope so) and those who I love.
I met Alice when I was twelve. We didn't instantly become friends, but we are now and that's what counts. She's a good person, too much for her own good actually, but she's the kind of person who's worth befriending. She's always there, in good times and in bad. She's always supportive and thinks about the rest. She's nice to almost everyone.
Then there's Chloe. She's nice too, she knows how to make people smile and how to make a joke about everything that can be joked about, but she knows when she has to get serious about something. She says what she thinks whenever she can, the good and the bad, but she'd never let a real friend down.
Alenna. Met her in preschool, I think. We've been good friends, and though we've had fights over the years we are now together. I haven't talked much with her this summer, but we're still very close. She's loyal and nice, mature for certain things and very liberal. You can tell her anything because, not only will she understand, but she won't tell. She'll support you no matter what.
And then comes Shadow. Shadow is a really, truly, very good friend. He's always been there when I needed someone. He always knows how to make me smile, how to make me happy. He helps me believe in myself and showed me that there's still good people out there, you just have to look. And since he says he can't understand I'll just translate this last paragraph for him: Shadow es  un muy buen amigo mio. Siempre ha estado alli cuando yo necesitaba a alguien. Siempre sabe como hacerme sonreir, como hacerme feliz. Me ayuda a creer en mi misma, a tener confianza y me ha enseñado que aun quedan buenas personas en el mundo, solo hay que mirar.
I love you all, guys, and I know this definitely sounds corny*, but I had to say it.
I hope you comment (you better!....haha just kidding, but, that'd be nice).

                                                                                                                                                        *cursi

Love and many thanks for helping me through my troubled life,
Your Anniselle

Changes : Part Two

Huh, my title sounds like the sequel of a pretty bad movie. Well, anyway, where was I? Oh, right, my fight with Pablo. So, I deleted him from my contacts on Tuenti, a website similar to Facebook. I told his "girlfriend", Choni, to delete me from her contacts, and then she got into the fight...She was quite mean. Then my friend Irina said that Emie had told her that she and Pablo had lied to me, Choni wasn't dating Pablo and didn't like him at all. Then why did they lie to me? They said because that way I'd stop bothering Emie. But was I really? I don't think so. I just asked her to stop talking to Pablo, or at least to stop talking about him, because I hated him.
I don't really remember what happened next. I just know that Emie stopped talking to me and started criticizing me, not behind my back, but in my own face!  Pablo manipulated her, he only told her the bad things I said, never mentioned the ones he said. I was sick of him. He called me several times. He sent me messages. I ignored him.
Then, one day, he told me he was coming to the school party, I don't know why he told me but I really didn't care. Or so I thought. Let's see, that day I was supposed to go shopping with Alenna, but she was late, very late, because she had gone to see her boyfriend and he was late too... Well, anyway, I spent the day chatting with Irina, until she left. I didn't care really, because she had changed so much, but I'll explain that later, I'll probably write a whole post about her. Then I started talking to some guy from school, Molina, until he left. I called Alenna to see why she was running so late and she said she'd come soon. I suddenly heard a noise, so I went to the living room. There I found my sister Lettie, who had just arrived, with two friends and said "Annie, your boyfriend's downstairs". I ran to the balcony and *Surprise*, there he was, waiting with two other friends. I told him to go away. Alenna came by a while later and we went to the mall, where I bought some cute heels and makeup. On the way back I bumped into 6 and some other guys, Molina, one of the twins, and some others... 6 whistled at me. It was...strange... Well, I went home to leave my things, and then went to the party with Alenna. Pablo called me again, he was so annoying!  We entered the school and he was waiting for us and followed me around.Well, the party was no good, I had a headache and I hated mostly everyone, except Alice (of course), who stayed with me the whole time, Chloe (she's really nice) and Alenna, but she had gone to dinner with her classmates.
Well, that was my last day of school. Really great. Awesome. I wish I'd have never gone to that damn party.

Well, that's all for now, I'll continue later, after dinner, or tomorrow, whenever I can. I'll also make a special post about Alice, Chloe and Shadow, pert English, part Spanish.

Love, especially to you three,
Anniselle

lunes, 15 de agosto de 2011

Changes

Dear readers (so to say Alice and people who read random blogs, cause no one's probably reading me anymore...), I have decided to write in English, beacuse, well, I fell like it, and because it seems right. Strange thing. Never mind that.
Anyway, it's almost 2 a.m. and I've got nothing better to do. There's a lot of people online...but I don't really want to talk. I feel like I need to write something. Like everything that has happened during the past months. Why haven't I written. Why I'm different now. Why everything has changed around me. I feel this void growing inside me, I need to fill it somehow. I need to fill it by saying everything.

It all started when I was dating Pablo, who I mentioned before. Everything was going perfectly. Or so I thought. Later on, Alice told me he used to lie to me, he told me he had to go (we spoke by chat, we were quite busy with school) but he just went offline and spoke to my so-called best friend. Well, I had thought everything was cool between us and that we were doing great. But we lasted less than a month and a half. He just broke up with me, said we had nothing in common. Which was true. But I enjoyed being with him, we spoke about our problems, our goals in life, our achievements, we explained each other what we liked...it wasn't that bad. We liked each other. Or so I thought (I'll explain this later, when the time comes). I sent a text to my friend Irina (I'll explain about her later, too), who was staying at Emie's place with Chloe. They phoned me immediately and I started to cry, because break-ups are always hard. Emie hardly spoke to me. She said "Hello, how are you?" and she passed the phone to Irina. Not a single "I'm sorry 'bout that" or an "Everything's gonna be alright" or a "That idiot didn't deserve you" from Emie. Not a single word that would make me smile or fell better. Actually, she continued speaking to that moron I used to call boyfriend.
Days passed by, I got the flu, spent more than a week at home. Pablo asked me to be friends with him, but I didn't want to. Why would I? I mean, if we broke up because we had nothing in common it seems stupid to go on talking, because that's mostly what we did while we were a couple, plus the special stuff. So I said no. But he pleaded, so I ended up saying yes. And, yeah, I already know that's crazy and stupid and that it'd only do me worse.
So we started talking to each other, online, like always, and we mostly asked about each other's day and try to make  each other jealous. Yep, that's how mature we are. At least I know I'm much more mature than him, but we'll get to that later.
My birthday was coming up and we had fallen out a couple of times, but it wasn't that bad. The worst was about to happen. He said he wanted to come by on my birthday to congratulate me for turning sixteen (at last!) And I told him "Well, I guess that's OK, but my friends won't like that, except Emie, and they'll probably kill you if they see you". He said it didn't matter. We spoke the next day and he said something about meeting each other secretly. I was surprised he said that, because, technically, he was dating some girl named...well, I'm not going to say her name, let's just call her Choni. Well,that was a lie, but I'll get to it (it's a pretty long story, I know, but have in mind all this happened in about six months, and hasn't finished yet...yay *sarcasm*....). So I asked what did he mean by meeting secretly, because that surely sounds dirty... I just asked. And he got mad. He started saying that I only thought about sex, that I didn't care about feelings (not true), that I had hurted him, that I was a stupid immature girl and that I could go to hell. Well, he didn't actually said that, but I wasn't comfortable writing what he said, so I put it in nice words.
Well, I'm rather tired of writing now, my eyes keep closing and my back is starting to hurt from sitting straight this whole time. I'll write again, I promise, and I'll tell what happened. Wait I'll write that down on a post-it so I won't forget. Well, my dear followers and readers, I do have to go now.
All my love,
Anniselle